Idiot Experiences Of Others

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."

We haven't used Sears repair since.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman, KS
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

From Kansas City !
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's
why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earthare blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

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IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for a dear coworker: She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was at Texas Instruments.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her o wn life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver9s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "Its open!"

His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
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STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and they VOTE!!!

Berries and Creme!

Halloween

Halloween is a great time to dress up and look ridiculous. The imagination that comes out this day is mind numbing!

55 USELESS BUT INTERESTING FACTS

I love stuff like this!!!

1) The soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

2) Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

3) Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles from the flush.

4) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

5) American car horns beep in the tone of F.

6) No piece of paper can be folded into half more than 7 times.

7) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

8) 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

9) You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

10) Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

11) The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

12) The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

13) A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight.

14) American Airlines saved 40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

15) Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

16) The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

17) Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

18) The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

19) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

20) Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

21) The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

22) Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

23) Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

24) Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

25) Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

26) All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

27) The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.

28) Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.

29) Pearls melt in vinegar.

30) It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

31) Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

32) The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

33) It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

34) Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

35) Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

36) The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/two communications)

37) Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

38) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

39) The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie."(Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

40) Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

41) Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down-hence the expression "to get fired."

42) Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

43) Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

44) Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.

45) Actor Tommy Lee Jones and US vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.

46) The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

47) Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."

48) The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

49) There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

50) All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20

51) A pregnant gold fish is called a twit

52) Rocks explode in microwaves

53) Steam rollers don't actually roll steam

54) 1,111,111 x 1,111,111 = 1234567654321

55) Coca-Cola is better at cleaning your drain pipes than
products like Draino

I LOVE FALL

I love this time of year. I can actually say that it is probably my favorite time of the year. Not too hot... not too cold, but just right. I think my pictures do all the talking.

Sunday in the mountains

Yesterday Andrea and I went up into the mountains with Curry and Melissa and the kids. It was a lot of fun and the weather and lighting couldn't have been better.

Aspen Groves

I went on a drive up the canyon today... just me and the camera in the front seat. Andrea didnt want to venture out with me but I really enjoyed the time to get out and see a little nature. Here are some of the shots I took.

"I love technology... always and forever.."

Ok... so Google Earth has been around for a few years now. But, just recently they have updated there clarity on Maracaibo Venezuela. I just thought I would take a look to see if they had and did they ever! I took this screen shot of my area in Maracaibo. I am zoomed up far enough so you can see most of my area and some other details but it is so clear. I marked out my apartment at the time too.. just so you could get an idea. It is really amazing all the memories that come flooding back by seeing all those streets that I walked day after day. I can point out which houses I taught discussions in and where the members of the church lived. I can't believe that all this was made possible through technology. It is almost like taking a free trip back to my mission. Anyway I know this may not mean much to anyone else but there you have it.

Redneck Woman

So I know this lady... and in order to protect her innocence or lack of... I wont tell you in my post how or where I know her from but I think I have met a real red neck woman. Here are some things I have jotted down that I think could qualify her as a redneck woman. You decide!

1. If you are seen looking at the county prison records online and when asked about it you reply... I am looking up family members... its like a family album... you might be a redneck woman!

2. If you have been charged with assault for beating up your husband and now you have a warrant out for your arrest... you might be a redneck woman!

3. If you use the word ain't more than once in a sentence and most english speaking people have a hard time figuring out what you're saying... you might be a redneck woman!

4. If you advertise the you are going to the trashiest bar in the county and you are super excited about it... you might be a redneck woman!

5. If you bleach your hair more than 3 times in 1 week and it still looks orange... you might be a redneck woman!

6. If you know more than one girl that has been killed by her boyfriend... you might be a redneck woman!

7. If you live in a trailer more than 50 miles from civilization... you might be a redneck woman!

8. If you keep tampons in a cup on your desk at work... you might be a redneck woman!

9. If you are mad your daughter is sick because you will be missing opening day of the bow hunting season... you might be a redneck woman!

10. If you can name all the hunting seasons and when they begin... you might be a redneck woman!

11. If your husband has gotten an 18 year old girl pregnant and thats ok by you... you might be a redneck woman!

Andrea and I sat down at dinner the other night and went over all the outrageous things that I have heard from this girl. I thought I would have to share with y'all!

"It's a Small... Small... World..."

Just like the ride at Disneyland teaches us... it really is a small world after all. Andrea has been on this Nissan Murano kick lately. She absolutely loves these things. I have never driven one and so my opinion of them is "they look cool". After hitting a Saturday afternoon showing of Harry Potter Andrea and I decided to run by Nissan so I could have this experience of driving this car (SUV). The sales guy that came out to help us has a really thick accent that I couldnt figure out where it was from. During the test drive I asked him he was from and he said Colombia. I had visited Colombia for a week on my mission and my last area was right on the Colombian border... needless to say we immediately moved into speaking spanish and completely forgot we were on a test drive. I told him I served my mission in Venezuela and he asked med what city I served in, when I told him Maracaibo he freaked out even more because he had totally lived there, in fact he ran his business in Maracaibo. I told him where I lived in the city and he totally knew where I was talking about. It was so cool. He told me that he moved from Colombia to California.. I told him I was from California and he said on really what part and when I told him you should have seen the look on his face... he was shocked.. thats exactly where he lived in CA. I dont think I have ever had such a random connection to a car sales man. This didnt work out in his favor but it was nice to meet him. What are odds really...