Crocs.... shameful at best!

Andrea and I were traveling back from Arizona, we were sitting on the shuttle that was taking us back to long term parking when I heard a women telling her husband how warm it had been in Utah. She leaned over and said, "Its been so warm you could have worn your C-R-O-C-S!". I first thought it was funny that she spelled it out and then it hit me... he must be ashamed that he owns and enjoys wearing crocs. For those of you who don't know what crocs are then you have nothing to worry about. If you know first hand what crocs are... because you own a pair... pay attention. You need to burn those as quickly as possible. Consider this a public service announcement... when it gets warmer in the next few months... buy some flip flops (thongs) and put your crocs out in the trash!


I am assuming that this is a man wearing these crocs by the hair on the legs... I could be wrong but can you see what crocs lead to! Socks with sandal like shoes! Please see the light! Think twice before you wear crocs!



Here is another man wearing crocs... they're navy blue which is a slight improvement... but why in the world would you want to look like you have duck feet?

Rosie wears crocs... is that not reason enough???????

This to me is a huge red flag! If people have found ways to embellish the crocs to make them more appealing to young kids... they are not for adults anymore! Time to move on. I have an example from my childhood... I remember when the Coolio song "Gansta's paradise" was really cool... I also remember the moment when it stopped being cool... I was driving in the car with my Mom and she knew and sang every word. (We were driving in her car and were headed west on Lake Forest Blvd and Toledo Rd.) Do you understand where I am coming from now?



If croc decorating is something that young girls do at slumber parties... then maybe grown men and women should not wear these!

Um... these should be outlawed!

I don't care if you are the president of the United States of America... crocs are the worst thing ever invented. Wearing these shoes is by far the worst decision President Bush has made as President.




Ok... this is what crocs drive people to do! Why in the world would a grown man in a suit have the desire to match his shirt with his shoes. This is a mess... I would send him home to change if he worked for me! I am sure his name tag reads: "Hello my name is... I have no women in my life.. do you know what I am doing wrong?" Yes we do... its the crocs!





There just isnt anything in the world like sitting next to a warm fire place with a hideous pair of crocs on. Notice there are no man legs in this picture? There is a reason... the ugly crocs scared them away.



So in conclusion... never wear crocs! Find another alternative. If you see someone wearing crocs... helps them! If you are looking to help people that wear crocs... here are some things to look for...

1. They are usually by themselves or with small children (also wearing crocs.. they will probably be talking about how to decorate their crocs.)

2. Look for people with fanny packs on! If they are still hanging on to the fanny pack... chances are they just discovered crocs. Stop them before it gets too serious.

3. Look for people wearing tie dyed shirts with wolves and bears and indians and rainbows and stuff on them. You know the kind... we have seen these at Walmarts and truck stops all over the country.

4. Your neighbor next store may even shock you... the people you least expect who usually have some fashion sense may be guilty of wearing crocs.

5. Hospitals across the country are flooded by nurses wearing these things... make sure they put real shoes on before they work on you... for sanitation sake!

PLEASE PLEASE THINK TWICE THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE TEMPTED TO WEAR THE CROCS YOU MAY ALREADY OWN. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WANT MORE FOR YOU THAN CROCS!

A Phrase A Week Mailing List

I have recently joined an email mailing list (I know who wants more junk email right?) that sends explanations for the words and phrases we use in the English language. I have always wondered why we say some of the things we say... I guess its mostly opinion based but I still think some of these explanations are interesting.

Here is one I always thought was interesting:

"I could care less!" : People have suggested that "I could care less!" is a mistake for "I couldn't care less," which it contradicts. Perhaps not. Bubble-gum English is different. The movie "Valley Girl" (1983) tried amusingly to capture the vocabulary and flavor of Valley-speak, the language of teenaged girls in the San Fernando Valley, who spoke in a sort of coded version of English (while teenaged boys prefer not to talk at all). The movie "Clueless" (1995) also dealt with teen-speak, and made "As if!" a sort of by-word. It apparently means "As if that could be true!" (said skeptically). I believe this sort of ellipsis explains "I could care less!" Just preface it with "As if" or "As though" or "Like." In this case, "like" serves as a conjunction (horrors!) rather than as the deplorable teen punctuation in which every clause begins with "like." Of course, the teen misuse of "like" is a venial sin compared to its misuse by grownups who should know better, such as those responsible for TV news and commentary, and for contributions to intellectual magazines like "Harper's" and "The Atlantic," where expressions like internecine, fortuitous, beg the question and a raft of others are routinely misused. Incidentally, if you'd like to hear young ladies REALLY talking to each other in code, watch the movie "Slums of Beverly Hills" (1998). And that's fer sher.

Dictionary Update

Fabulous: fab-yuh-luh s - This word should only used by women and homosexuals. Heterosexuals are immediately assumed homosexual with the use of this word. WARNING all "gay-dars" pick up this word when used. If you are heterosexual and wish to be portrayed as such please refrain from ever using this word. Consider the following examples:

Homo: "These potatoes are fabulous!"
Hetero: "These potatoes are great!"

Homo: "I'm doing just fabulous!"
Hetero: "I'm doing really well!"

Homo: "You look fabulous in that."
Hetero: "You look really good in that"

Homo: "We just had a fabulous time!"
Hetero: "We had a really good time!"

Homo: "Those shoes are simply fabulous!"
Hetero: "I like your shoes!"

Homo: "Thanks so much for the fabulous party!"
Hetero: "Thank you for the great party!"

Homo: "Your eyeshadow is fabulous... it really makes your eyes pop!"
Hetero: "... you look really nice!"

Hopefully the point of this lesson is fully understood. If you want your vocabulary to trigger questions on your sexual preference then continue the use of this word. If you want people to know you are heterosexual then I suggest not using this word ever again.