Saturday, August 25, 2007

Redneck Woman

So I know this lady... and in order to protect her innocence or lack of... I wont tell you in my post how or where I know her from but I think I have met a real red neck woman. Here are some things I have jotted down that I think could qualify her as a redneck woman. You decide!

1. If you are seen looking at the county prison records online and when asked about it you reply... I am looking up family members... its like a family album... you might be a redneck woman!

2. If you have been charged with assault for beating up your husband and now you have a warrant out for your arrest... you might be a redneck woman!

3. If you use the word ain't more than once in a sentence and most english speaking people have a hard time figuring out what you're saying... you might be a redneck woman!

4. If you advertise the you are going to the trashiest bar in the county and you are super excited about it... you might be a redneck woman!

5. If you bleach your hair more than 3 times in 1 week and it still looks orange... you might be a redneck woman!

6. If you know more than one girl that has been killed by her boyfriend... you might be a redneck woman!

7. If you live in a trailer more than 50 miles from civilization... you might be a redneck woman!

8. If you keep tampons in a cup on your desk at work... you might be a redneck woman!

9. If you are mad your daughter is sick because you will be missing opening day of the bow hunting season... you might be a redneck woman!

10. If you can name all the hunting seasons and when they begin... you might be a redneck woman!

11. If your husband has gotten an 18 year old girl pregnant and thats ok by you... you might be a redneck woman!

Andrea and I sat down at dinner the other night and went over all the outrageous things that I have heard from this girl. I thought I would have to share with y'all!


Anneke said...

You can't be serious! I mean, REALLY??

Brody said...

Now I know that these things describe here to a "T", but how many of these descriptions are true about here?

Kim said...

Tampons in the cup at the desk knocked me off my chair...pleaseeee..this woman can't be real!!

Tammy said...

This woman is for real, I know who she is. Sad but true :( We enjoy laughing at her behind her back every day :)

Brooklyn said...

That ain't redneck that's just white trash! I know I'm a redneck and there's a difference 'tween redneck and white trash. Y'all got this lady mislabeled.